Oh How He Loves Us

"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. " {Eph 3:17-21}


I went to this amazing worship service at church tonight.  I love singing worship songs and being in His presence.  The scripture above was read tonight and it really spoke to my heart.  God has been drawing me to Himself more - to know His heart and find joy in Him.  I feel so loved and blessed, yet this has to be one of the hardest times in my life.  I constantly feel Him drawing me closer and speaking to me.  This may seem weird to some {don't really care} but I feel as if He is leaning in kissing me on my cheek saying "know that you are loved."  {luvvv Him} 
 I share this because for so long I have held my own sin against myself... as if the cross didn't do anything.  I have walked in disobedience to something God spoke to my heart years ago.  I haven't been confident enough to trust Him and believe in His words, but I've let others influence me more than God.  I've allowed the negativity and belittling of others to take hold of me like a dead weight.  I know now that God's will is for me to walk courageously in His love and trust Him.      

Anxiety creeps in and attacks my spirit.  I worry about the future.... if my sin and disobedience have ruined what God had planned.  However... what if what I feel is God's plan is wrong, what if I'm wrong?   What if I've misread everything?  I have free will, I make poor choices and have walked in disobedience.  Have I ruined God's plan for my life? 


I thought I understood grace.  I thought I knew God's love for me and how to love others.  I am still learning so much.  I will never comprehend how much He really loves me.  God's grace is so undeserved, unconditional and beautiful.  I can not ruin God's plan, nor can you.   How could I even think that His grace was so insignificant that it can't cover my mistakes?  His love is so much stronger, deeper and more powerful than I can wrap my mind around.  


Oh How He Loves Us 
{John Mark McMillan}
He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.

When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

Chorus:
And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.

Verse 2:
We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…

Chorus {repeated}

Verse 3:
Well, I thought about You the day Stephen died,
And You met me between my breaking.
I know that I still love You, God, despite the agony.
...They want to tell me You're cruel,
But if Stephen could sing, he'd say it's not true, cause...

Chorus  {repeated}