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Thursday, April 21, 2016

The About Me List - Play Along!

Today I decided I wanted to reflect on the quirkiness of who I am. I remember how I used to see these FB posts where my friends would share a list of all these cool, fun, quirky facts about themselves. No one on FB has done this in a while (years) and i really miss reading them! So, I'm kicking it off with a hope that you will play along and do the same. :) Let me know if any of these also apply to you. 

1. I love movies from the 80s - 90s such as BIG, What About Bob?, Can't Buy Me Love, Loverboy, Princess Bride, Ferris Bueller, Goonies, and Weekend at Bernies.  

2. I have a deep love for star gazing. Anytime, anywhere, just ask. 


3. My sense of direction is almost non-existent. 


4. I hold my pen the "incorrect" way, but i can't correct it now. 


5.
I was in two legitimate fights as a kid, yet never got kicked out of school. 

6. I used to think a manual or stick shift of a car was also termed as a "stiff." 


7. For a long time (at least 2 years) I called Wifi, the "WeeFee." {Yes, go ahead and laugh}


8. I was in an intense discipleship program called Master's Commission in college {Google it}. We spent a lot of time together in our little community learning scripture. We traveled the U.S. speaking at churches, writing and performing skits and "human videos." 



9. I'm a soprano II (or alto I depending on the music). I love singing and i play piano, but i can't do both at the same time. I was in a small traveling choir in college called Ladies of Lee. 

10. I'm scared to do a flip because I just know i'll hit my head and need stitches. 

11. I received "The Silliest" award in my college dorm. Simmons Hall rocks!  


12. My primary love languages are quality time and words of affirmation - time spent really connecting with someone - laughing and having genuine conversations.


13. Over the years, I have learned that I'm more high maintenance than I once thought. :) good luck future hubby. 


14. I love when people initiate things and invite me. I'm 60% introvert {some extrovert tendencies - INFP/INFJ}.  


15. I went to Health Camp as a kid. Whenever i tell people that, they have no clue what i'm talking about. 
I loved all my health and anatomy classes in school. It fascinates me how the human body works. 

16. I've struggled with loneliness throughout my life and few people know how hard (how deep) this struggle really is.  


17. Improper grammar annoys me. You're is not the same as your. To is different than too and two.  Specific is different than Pacific.  Affect and effect mean two different things. And this new thing where people write "dat be" and "fraid of ah" and "this gyal is tunda" - that's not a language! It makes me cringe. Learn English, learn Spanish or French or Korean - anything that's a legitimate language, but stop trying to make one up and expect me to understand. 


18. As a runner, I am strangely proud of my beat-up feet. At times, I wish they were dainty with a beautiful pedicure, but after you run 13 miles, who cares? 


19. I'm gluten free and dairy free, and because of that I am now asthma free with very little allergies. 


20. I finished my second half marathon this past November with no inhaler and completely cured of asthma. My time was 2:02:35 and I'm very happy with that. 


21. I always wanted to be like the "cool kids" - the dancers and the cheerleaders - but that's simply not who I am. And I fully embrace who I am - nerdiness and all. :)  


22. The best burger I've ever had was called the Basque burger while i was in PARIS traveling with a good friend. 


23. I went zip-lining through the Appalachian mountains = one of the best days ever. 


24. I went cliff jumping within my first week of college. 


25. I was slightly chased by a goat in the Dominican. 


26. I hopped on a mo-ped with a stranger and drove through crazy traffic in the Dominican. 


27. I love both mountains and the beach, but the mountains are my favorite. They're beautiful and full of vibrant color, and the stars are brighter! {Plus the temperature is 10x better}. 


28. My heart longs to do missions, but God has closed that door. I'm patiently waiting to see what will happen and where God will lead me next. 


29. I love photography and understand cameras pretty well, but if you put me in front of a slow computer and ask me to fix the problem, i just want to scream. 


30. I came to know Christ in a wonderful Pentecostal church which I still love dearly. However, if I could encourage them to change one thing within the denomination, it would be to teach more about grace


31. I am not a fan of "know-it-alls" that close their minds and remain in their ignorance. I respect those more that humble themselves to listen, ask questions, and be teachable. I truly hope I can be a lifelong learner. 


32. When I was little, my mom lost me in the grocery store because I was really sleepy and randomly decided to lay down for a nap on top of the toilet paper stacks. It was the softest spot to lay down. :) 


33. When I first got contacts I only needed one. My mom called me Cyclops. {still makes me laugh}


34. 
I have a burden for children, especially those in poverty and slavery. Something new stirring deep in my heart these last few months has been a bigger burden for the persecuted church. 

35. 
This year has so far been a season of a beautiful, deep struggle. God is nudging me to know myself and fully embrace who I am. He is teaching me so much about me and about Him. I love who I am and how He designed me - even the deepest parts. And I love Him even more. 



That's all I can think of for now! I hope you play along and post some fun facts about yourself! :) 




Tuesday, February 9, 2016

It's not about me

You can be sure that I have heard the groans of the people of Israel, who are now slaves to the Egyptians. And I am well aware of my covenant with them.
“Therefore, say to the people of Israel: ‘I am the Lord. I will free you from your oppression and will rescue you from your slavery in Egypt. I will redeem you with a powerful arm and great acts of judgment. I will claim you as my own people, and I will be your God. Then you will know that I am the Lord your God who has freed you from your oppression in Egypt. I will bring you into the land I swore to give to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. I will give it to you as your very own possession. I am the Lord!’”
So Moses told the people of Israel what the Lord had said, but they refused to listen anymore. They had become too discouraged by the brutality of their slavery. Exodus 6:5 – 9

I have had my heart set on this scripture for a while, pondering it, and wrestling with why it seems significant to me. Why is God showing me this? There's so much depth to this scripture and i can only go into a portion of it now. One thing I see, one thing i finally get is...  I am an Israelite. 

The things of this world can enslave us and hold us down. I can be the negative, non-believing Israelite. I am His child. My Father God tells me His promises, He reassures me of His love, He tenderly speaks to my heart confirming His promises again and again, yet I walk in disbelief.

As it happened with the Israelites, sometimes the brutality of life can wear us down so much that we can’t see the next step. And we choose to become so distraught, we lose our hope.  

I have often thought that HOPE was about holding on tightly. Holding on with everything in me! Holding on with all my strength! It’s not. Hope is about letting go and letting the ONE who is perfect work it out and I just get to be me.

So, what is it that I’ve been missing? How does that scripture relate?  

Well, to put it quite frankly – it’s not about me.
Maybe you are like me in some ways. I’ve focused hard on ministry, work, my needs, my desires, my dreams, my feelings… And I forget who it is that is behind it all and what really matters. It’s not about me. It’s about HIM.

Those dreams, those desires, those passions are gifts from Him. I just need to trust.

In this scripture, God is telling Moses {Paraphrased}, ‘I’ve heard the cries of My people. They belong to Me. I see their struggle. I see their tears. I hear their prayers. They are not forgotten. They are not ignored. It’s just been a matter of time and the time has come. I will do a mighty work and they will know I am the Lord their God.’

More times than I’d like to admit, I’ve felt completely ignored by God. I have felt forgotten. I’ve wondered if He sees me at all. In the scriptures above, God reminds Moses of who He is. He repeatedly says,
I am the Lord.
I will free you…
I will redeem you…
I will rescue you…
I will claim you as My own…
I will.

Did you see that? I will… I will… It’s not about you. It’s not about me.
It’s about HIM.

So maybe we stop holding on to what we think our life is supposed to look like and let go. Have hope in the ONE who knows us inside-out, every detail of our being, every hair on our head, every wrinkle on our skin. Trust in the ONE whose ways are perfect.

He wants to do something so great and so wonderful that we can’t mistake that it is only by HIS hand.

Dwell on His truth. Take Him at His word. Read His truth continually so that His words become so engrained in your mind that you don’t give the enemy a foothold. 

For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.
Hebrews 4:12
The oppression of the enemy fights us, wearing us down. I have to remind myself of God's promises and rest in Him. I choose to focus on His truth and speak boldly against the fear of the enemy. I choose LOVE. I choose to let go and HOPE. I have a perfect, holy Creator God who loves me beyond my comprehension. And He works things out for the good of those that truly love Him. {Romans 8} I believe He will do things in such a way that there is no other explanation for His work, so that HE alone gets the glory.

He only asks me to seek Him first. Seek the kingdom of God first. And so, I let go.
It’s not about me.

Some things in life may seem impossible. Things may seem to never end. Maybe you feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel.

There is. It is Him.


There’s so much more depth to this scripture and that will come later. I will let this soak in for now.  

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