It's not about me

You can be sure that I have heard the groans of the people of Israel, who are now slaves to the Egyptians. And I am well aware of my covenant with them.

“Therefore, say to the people of Israel: ‘I am the Lord. I will free you from your oppression and will rescue you from your slavery in Egypt. I will redeem you with a powerful arm and great acts of judgment. I will claim you as my own people, and I will be your God. Then you will know that I am the Lord your God who has freed you from your oppression in Egypt. I will bring you into the land I swore to give to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. I will give it to you as your very own possession. I am the Lord!’”

So Moses told the people of Israel what the Lord had said, but they refused to listen anymore. They had become too discouraged by the brutality of their slavery. Exodus 6:5 – 9

I have had my heart set on this scripture for a while, pondering it, and wrestling with why it seems significant to me. Why is God showing me this? There's so much depth to this scripture and i can only go into a portion of it now. One thing I see, one thing i finally get is...  I am an Israelite. 

The things of this world can enslave us and hold us down. I can be the negative, non-believing Israelite. I am His child. My Father God tells me His promises, He reassures me of His love, He tenderly speaks to my heart confirming His promises again and again, yet I walk in disbelief.

As it happened with the Israelites, sometimes the brutality of life can wear us down so much that we can’t see the next step. And we choose to become so distraught, we lose our hope.  

I have often thought that HOPE was about holding on tightly. Holding on with everything in me! Holding on with all my strength! It’s not. Hope is about letting go and letting the ONE who is perfect work it out and I just get to be me.

So, what is it that I’ve been missing? How does that scripture relate?  

Well, to put it quite frankly – it’s not about me.

Maybe you are like me in some ways. I’ve focused hard on ministry, work, my needs, my desires, my dreams, my feelings… And I forget who it is that is behind it all and what really matters. It’s not about me. It’s about HIM.

Those dreams, those desires, those passions are gifts from Him. I just need to trust.

In this scripture, God is telling Moses {Paraphrased}, ‘I’ve heard the cries of My people. They belong to Me. I see their struggle. I see their tears. I hear their prayers. They are not forgotten. They are not ignored. It’s just been a matter of time and the time has come. I will do a mighty work and they will know I am the Lord their God.’

More times than I’d like to admit, I’ve felt completely ignored by God. I have felt forgotten. I’ve wondered if He sees me at all. In the scriptures above, God reminds Moses of who He is. He repeatedly says,

‘I am the Lord.

I will free you…

I will redeem you…

I will rescue you…

I will claim you as My own…

I will.

Did you see that? I will… I will… It’s not about you. It’s not about me.

It’s about HIM.

So maybe we stop holding on to what we think our life is supposed to look like and let go. Have hope in the ONE who knows us inside-out, every detail of our being, every hair on our head, every wrinkle on our skin. Trust in the ONE whose ways are perfect.

He wants to do something so great and so wonderful that we can’t mistake that it is only by HIS hand.

Dwell on His truth. Take Him at His word. Read His truth continually so that His words become so engrained in your mind that you don’t give the enemy a foothold. 

For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

Hebrews 4:12

The oppression of the enemy fights us, wearing us down. I have to remind myself of God's promises and rest in Him. I choose to focus on His truth and speak boldly against the fear of the enemy. I choose LOVE. I choose to let go and HOPE. I have a perfect, holy Creator God who loves me beyond my comprehension. And He works things out for the good of those that truly love Him. {Romans 8} I believe He will do things in such a way that there is no other explanation for His work, so that HE alone gets the glory.

He only asks me to seek Him first. Seek the kingdom of God first. And so, I let go.

It’s not about me.

Some things in life may seem impossible. Things may seem to never end. Maybe you feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel.

There is. It is Him.

There’s so much more depth to this scripture and that will come later. I will let this soak in for now.  

Isaiah 54 - A Word of Encouragement

I wrote this piece a while back, months ago in fact, and kept telling myself I need to post it.  So today is the day.  Before I share my thoughts on Isaiah 54, I have to share something wonderful that happened as I was writing this piece. 

The day I was writing this, I was praying in my office at work, door was closed and I needed time alone.  I turned on an audio commentary from blueletterbible.org with David Guzik teaching on this chapter.  It was on in the background at first; I can’t write with music or people talking.  So I had started writing and praying, continually going back and forth to study.  I finally had to put the speaker completely on mute. 

I began to pray and tears were streaming down my face; fear can overwhelm me sometimes. {Just being completely vulnerable here} There are days when I feel very alone.  Despite the fact that I know I am loved, I forget God's promises and Satan attacks my heart and my mind.  It was one of those days.  

Honestly, I enjoy being single. It allows me to do things I may not be able to do as a married woman.  If I want to go out with friends on a Friday or take a random road trip, peace out! :)  I'm there!  It's nice.  And I have amazing friends and family, I love them all.  However, my heart still looks forward to one day being married with a husband/helpmate/lover and companion.  It is a desire.  And when you are single and work in ministry, let’s just say guys are not exactly beating down my door - which btw I don’t understand because we are so much fun!  And I think I’m pretty cute.  {hey, I am allowed to say that and say it with confidence.} ;) 

Anyways, as a single woman, watching so many of my friends get married and have children, it hits me with destructive thoughts, “Will my life ever move forward?” or “I need to get over this and understand that God just doesn’t have those plans for me, so I need to face facts.” 

Some people don’t believe that God speaks anymore like He did with Moses or Joshua, but I truly believe He does, because He continually speaks to me!  It has happened many times.  I don't understand it, but He confirms it every time and I know it's God.  THIS was just another wonderful instance. 

What happened?
So, when I was in my office praying, I prayed the Holy Spirit would comfort me, I think I actually uttered the words, ‘please help me. I just need to feel You.'    And I literally felt like He wrapped me in His arms and held me, it suddenly became very warm in my office.  Of course, I was crying, then I heard Him whisper “I Am enough.”  :)  

God was just reminding me of who He is and He is enough.  Everything I need.  It was encouraging to hear that, but that’s not all.  Then something odd and amazing happened… I dried my eyes and turned the commentary back on.  It had been playing but I had muted it.  When I turned it back up, the speaker was referencing verse 5. 

“For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name;
and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called.”

He read the verse, then he said, “It’s as if the Lord is saying to you ‘I Am enough.”
Ahhhhhhhh!  I was shocked!  I couldn’t believe that just happened!  J  God's perfect timing.  It was so wonderful to hear that confirmation.  I just had to share.  Sorry this piece is long, but I do hope it is a blessing to someone out there reading this.  This was heavy on my heart for a while and felt like I should share.   Please post or share any thoughts, I love hearing from people! :) 

ISAIAH 54~

“Sing, O barren one, who did not bear;

break forth into singing and cry aloud, you who have not been in labor!

For the children of the desolate one will be more

than the children of her who is married,” says the Lord.

“Enlarge the place of your tent, and let the curtains of your habitations be stretched out;

do not hold back; lengthen your cords and strengthen your stakes.

For you will spread abroad to the right and to the left, and your offspring will possess the nations and will people the desolate cities” {vs1 – 3}.

Isaiah 54 has been heavy on my heart.  I keep reading, trying to understand why God is pressing this on me. The first couple verses tell a once barren woman to now sing because she is no longer barren.  Why is this even mentioned? 

As I have been studying, I read that back then in Israel, it was a great disgrace for a woman to be unable to bear children.  So in her moments of feeling shameful, feeling alone and discouraged because of her struggle, the Lord is comforting her with a promise.  It’s a promise of restoration and blessing!  All that was the past, all the shame and loneliness she has felt, God is erasing and doing a new work.  He promises to restore and bless.  Israel will be restored like a woman who was once barren.  She is also compared to a widow without reproach.  As there is sadness that attacks a widow, God promises to stand in the place of her husband. 

“Fear not, for you will not be ashamed;
be not confounded, for you will not be disgraced;
for you will forget the shame of your youth, and the reproach of your

widowhood you will remember no more.
⁵ For your Maker is your husband,
the Lord of hosts is his name;
and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer,
the God of the whole earth he is called.
⁶ For the Lord has called you
like a wife deserted and grieved in spirit,
like a wife of youth when she is cast off,” says your God.

With compassion, God responds ‘don’t you realize who I am.  I Am.  I am your Maker, I designed you and have loved you with an everlasting love.  Before I even formed you in the womb, I knew you.'

“the Lord of hosts is my name” …means the God of Heavenly armies.  Wow.  How’s that for a husband?  Nothing and no one on earth can compare!  He is saying, ‘I am God Almighty – powerful, Sovereign, and still closer and more intimate than any earthly husband can be for you.’

“For a brief moment I deserted you,
but with great compassion I will gather you.
⁸ In overflowing anger for a moment I hid my face from you,
but with everlasting love I will have compassion on you,”
says the Lord, your Redeemer.”

God describes our trial from His perspective. God is calling us to trust Him, to remember who He is and that He will bring us restoration. 

For the mountains may depart

    and the hills be removed,

but my steadfast love shall not depart from you,

    and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,”

    says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

“O afflicted one, storm-tossed and not comforted,

    behold, I will set your stones in antimony,

    and lay your foundations with sapphires....

He is teaching us that even though something as steady as the mountains may move, but His kindness will never depart from us!  His compassion is always there and He is reaching out to comfort those that are hurting.  A couple weeks ago, I was praying and it had been an emotionally draining weekend. I was praying and felt as if the Holy Spirit was saying to me, “why do you cry as though I left you?  I have never left you.”   I felt like He had such compassion on me in that moment of weakness.  He didn't look down, slap me around and tell me to get over it, but God had compassion on me. 

Far too often I question His goodness. I doubt Him and I don’t trust.  I struggle with thinking that He may allow something to come into my life that hurts, I’m afraid of the risk.  Far too often I view God like I do a person... as someone full of sin and flaws. I forget that He is GOD. Not a god that we have created with our hands, not a god that we made-up, but GOD.. our Creator. He is everything. He is the beginning and the end; nothing compares to Him. He is the one true LIVING God.  

When we are feel as if we have hit our lowest point, we ‘feel’ poor, weak and as though we have nothing. God is comforting his child with these words, reminding them they are not without, they are not poor but they are “rich.”   

I love Isaiah 54 and I take it as a word of encouragement directly from God, as this is the Word of the Living God, which is something I easily forget far too often. I serve the living God, He is not dead but He answers when we call and He is our strength and encouragement when we need it. 
{~ A Thankful heart}