having excess

“For the next few minutes, he described how he was selling his large house and had decided to give away many of his other possessions. He talked about the needs he wanted to invest his resources in for the glory of Christ. Then he looked at me through tears in his eyes and said, ‘I wonder at some points if I’m being irresponsible or unwise. But then I realize there is never going to come a day when I stand before God and he looks at me and says, ‘I wish you would have kept more for yourself.’ “ –Radical

I am planning to go to the Dominican Republic in February and I feel this tugging on my heart to give more and love more, to let go of my selfishness and greed {which can be so hard to recognize sometimes}.  Maybe this is God preparing me for what's ahead?  I feel like my love for others has not been actively shown as it should.  God is making me question the motivations of my heart and challenging me to love more.  

I am in the process of moving and looking at all that I have.  I kept saying "I just don't have that much stuff" but it didn't take long to realize I have excess!  I feel that there are others that would count these things as blessings, when I hold on to them as extra for me in case I need it.  Selfish, huh?  I have so much stuff, it's ridiculous!  I feel this tugging on my heart to let go and give these things away that clutter my life.  I don't need three bottles of lotion or two extra toothbrushes {that were freely given to me}.   I don't need the extra blue blanket in the closet!  

I was just talking with some friends about the DR trip last year and how I got to work in the dental clinic.  I will never forget the look on the kids faces as we gave them toothbrushes.  They were so excited!  It amazes me how much we take things for granted.   I tear up thinking of their little faces and the excitement in their eyes.  They were so thankful and I believe they felt loved {maybe in a small way} to know that someone cares and wants to provide for them.  I just hope they see that we do those things because Christ calls us to love and serve them.  

In the meantime, I hope I can give more here.  I don't want to hold on to things that only clutter my life, I don't want to have excess when the homeless guy down the street doesn't even have a bed to sleep on.  I don't need six scarfs when the lady I met at a homeless ministry was freezing and I knew she would be sleeping in a shelter that night.  I feel God tugging at my heart to let go of these things to bless others... now just have to step out and act on it.