I'm a Sprout!

Some of you know that these past couple years have been rough.  {this is not a whiney blog I promise} I have been in an environment where everything I say or do is looked down on.  I've been yelled at for some of the most ridiculous things. I've been told that I'm incompetent. I've had doors slammed in my face and papers jerked out of my hand.  I've dealt with constant belittling and verbal abuse.  It's been incredibly unhealthy and my self-esteem has taken a hit. This has affected all my relationships.

However, this is a new season and things are changing! I'm so excited! I am beyond thrilled to be moving forward in life!!!  :-) 

I have learned a lot from this person. One thing I've learned is to not allow someone's words to form my identity. Just because someone labels you as something doesn't mean that is who you are.  It's hard to overcome this when their words are drilled into you almost everyday.  I honestly had started to believe what they said about me, but their words really mean nothing other than proving their ignorance. 

Romans 8 is one of my favorite chapters in the Bible because it talks about our identities in Christ. My identity comes from my Heavenly Father - who loves me, sent His Son to die for me and He calls me beloved, beautiful, His royal daughter.

During youth service a few weeks ago, I was knelt down praying and I found this scripture on a note lying on the floor, as soon as I read it, I thought this is exactly what God is doing right now.

"The rain and snow come down from the heavens and stay on the ground to water the earth. They cause the grain to grow, producing seed for the farmer and bread for the hungry. It is the same with my word.  I send it out, and it always produces fruit.  It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it.

You will live in joy and peace. The mountains and hills will burst into song, and the trees of the field will clap their hands!  Where once there were thorns, cypress trees will grow.  Where briers grew, myrtles will sprout up.  This miracle will bring great honor to the LORD's name; it will be an everlasting sign of his power and love." - Isaiah 55:10-13

This is a reminder of the promises of God - that He is faithful and good.  His word is never lacking in power, it never returns void and there is always a purpose.  Just because we may not see something happen when we think it should, doesn't mean that God is not working.  Why would God not want good things for us?  Why would He put me in a situation of verbal abuse?  Maybe because I worry about what people say, instead of placing my whole heart in Him and holding to His truth.

"Where once there were thorns, cypress trees will grow. Where briers grew, myrtles will sprout up."

These last couple of years, I have felt as if I've literally had a thorn choking the life out of me.  Thorns keep plants from growing because they hinder them from getting the nutrients they need.  Flowers eventually become so weak, they can't bloom.  Then all you see is a dying, wimpy leaf lying on the ground, helpless, barely hanging on to its last breath.  What does the gardener do?  I've seen gardners have such a hard time with thorns, they actually have to use a bull-dozer to plow through them.  Sometimes a gardner is able to wear thick gloves and rip the thorns out by hand, but not always.  He may have to re-plant things in a new place so they can grow in a healthy enviroment.  It may take time to rebloom and it won't be easy, but the new soil will be healthy and allow the little flower to bloom.  So.... I'm a sprout!  :-) 

I'm so excited! I see new life, a new season! I see myself blooming! I feel as if I'm this tiny, little bulb breathing air for the first time in years! I see all my friends that have supported me as these beautiful mountains and hills surrounding me bursting into song, praising God for the work He's done!  The new people I am surrounded by have already shown themselves to be uplifting and encouraging, I see them as beautiful trees around me, helping me to grow.  I look up to them and I'm learning a lot already.

I prayed for God to rescue me and He did!  I feel as if He kept digging, cutting through briars and thorns, plowing His way through... fighting for me.  He found a new place to plant me where I can bloom and be restored.  The Lord has been speaking to me a lot about restoration.  Everything that the Lord restores is for His glory, for His kingdom, so that He will be known, but the restoration process is never easy.  Ohhh... the changes in my life that are about to come!  {tear. now}

David Guzik said in his commentary,
"The picture is clear; in His glorious work of restoration, God takes away the barren and the cursed, and brings forth beauty and fruit." 

"Where briers grew, myrtles will sprout up. This miracle will bring great honor to the LORD's name; it will be an everlasting sign of his power and love...." - (myrtle- Hebrew, Hedes, from which comes Hedassah, the original name of Esther. Type of the Christian Church; for it is a lowly, though beautiful, fragrant, and evergreen shrub) Psalm 92:13-14.

This scripture had me thinking if I were a plant, what would I be?  There are so many scriptures that say things like "you will be as a tree...."  or "your mother was as a vine..."  So I am thinking what might I be seen as?  I can tell you what I think or hope to be seen as.... a calla lily. 

One of my favorite flowers is the calla lily.  They're beautiful! The calla lily is one of my favorites because it's beautiful and strong, unlike a daisy or dandelion that if you hit it the wrong way, all the petals fall off. The calla lily doesn't die easily, but it is sensitive to the cold. The stem is long and thick and the roots are strong. They are so elegant and beautiful! They bloom from a bulb so a gardner can actually dig up those bulbs and plant them, so that more will bloom - just because one calla lily bloomed.  {see where I'm going with this} They are sensitive to the frost and they have to have a balance between enough sunshine but just enough shade too. Ok, ok, so maybe I'm a little high maintenance.  :o)

I looked up the symbolic meaning of a calla lily {did not know this until now}, they symbolize a rebirth and restoration. Go figure! They also symbolize "magnificent beauty" and they are used a lot at weddings because of their elegant shape and symbol of new life. I feel as if I am being replanted to bloom and hopefully my little bulbs (testimony) can be used to bless other beautiful, strong calla lilies such as my lifegroup girls at church and I can see the next generation rise up.