Dominican Republic = less of me

I love the Dominican Republic and I want to go back! We got back last Sunday, Valentines Day and I took Monday off. My stomach was upset and I literally slept all day. Mr. Bathroom became my best friend. I had no appetite, but eventually ate oatmeal. I didn't want anything at first, then I found myself craving fresh pineapple. They have delicious fresh fruit. Mmmmmm. :o) I’m still having trouble drinking sweet tea again. SO weird! I mean, I’m a southerner! Hello! This should not be a problem. They have this tea in the DR, Ahh-Mazing! Kind of like an apple-cinnamon tea, very strong and oh so good. And the hot chocolate... oh how I love thee! It is nothing like American hot chocolate. Silly Americans - we have water with some powder - what were we thinkin'?

I am still processing everything from being in the Dominican but I have to say, it has changed my heart.  I am much more aware of what it really means to die to myself.  I want to give more, love more and pray more that people know God and love Him. This trip was an amazing experience - kind of like having spiritual open heart surgery... that you are awake for... with a lot of people you barely know watching.  It made me examine my heart, dig a little deeper and really {want} to change. I want to know what it means to be Christ to those around me and die to my selfish ways. It's not an overnight change, but a daily battle I am more aware of.

Before the trip, I was reading Proverbs 31 and I taped it up in my bathroom, just because. I've read this scripture a million times. I didn't give it too much thought. Now I see that God laid that on my heart to redesign my heart. He has been pursuing me and molding me to become the woman He wants me to be. The Proverbs 31 woman is hard-working, never lazy, she’s wise and seeks God above all things. She is prayerful, faithful, energetic and strong, a woman of integrity and grace. I want to be this woman… what God desires me to be. And that means dying to myself.

God was calling me to fast before the trip - for the team and for the Dominicans.  I feel like there was more to the fasting than what I realized at that time.  He kept speaking to me, "It's not about you, it's about ME."  I was thinking, this is about being dependent on Him because this will be a hard trip. Well... that was only part of it.  I think my heart needed one of those shocks that you get when on the operating table... kind of how I felt. (Not that thats ever happened but I'm just saying).  Learning to die to myself and be rid of my selfishness is the biggest thing I've taken away from this trip.  Recognizing that I shouldn't complain but be grateful, learning to give freely to others, to love others {unselfishly} and count it all joy! I’m {learning} to rest and take joy in knowing I am loved and cherished by GOD!  Joy in knowing that He cares for me, so there's no need to complain or be discouraged but to count it all joy.  My struggles won't go away, in fact when I came back from the trip they almost seem worse, but my reaction to it can change.

I'm thankful for God's provision in my life.  I'm thankful to have a hot shower and a bed! I {heart} my bed. And my pillow... not just any pillow. I have a fancy-smansy memory foam pillow that helps me sleep... oh I missed that little guy! I’m blessed to take showers without fear of getting sick from parasites, yet burdened to pray for the people that get sick from that water every day. I pray for their health and protection, for their families and children. I'm grateful to sleep comfortably with a roof over my head, with no fear of sleeping with a mouse or a roach. {totally serious here} I am grateful to not be sleeping on an air mattress that hurts my back and wake up at 2am with a roach on me. I don't like any bug really, but the worst of them all is a rrrroach. {I even hate the word} I wanted to scream but I knew I'd wake everyone up, so I tried to remain calm.  At 2:00am.  After it crawled on my leg.  In my sheets.  Ewwww. That little guy wanted to sleep with me and I was like... No sir! You better back off! Take your six little legs and scurry out of my sheets!  The thing is, people live in far worse conditions... a lot worse than just worrying if a stupid roach is on you or not. I really am blessed! There are so many things we take forgranted everyday... heat and A/C, electricity, a bed, a shower, clean water, medicine! And did you know that gas in DR is $22 a gallon? Yeah. No kidding.

When people ask me how was my trip... I don't quite know what to say. It was really good, but it was also very convicting, which is hard.  Learning to die to myself, to get past my selfishness, to be continually mindful and prayful, to love others and show them the love of Christ... that's a lot to take in.  I didn't really feel like myself. Everyday I was adjusting to new surroundings, the culture {which I love} and my teammates.  I constantly felt awkward and out of place, although I know I was right where God wanted me. Unfortunately in the moments of my weakness, my struggles came forth and I hate it when my flesh gets in the way.  Arrrg.  Dealing with my own feelings of inadequacy.  We lived in a constant state of be ready for anything, adapt quickly and be {continually} prayerful. Taking all this home really changes you.  I was with this amazing team {the dangerous team} that I barely knew before the trip and most of them all knew each other fairly well... except for me. I love my team very much, but there was this constant battle in my spirit of feeling like the odd-ball, but I know that I was right where God wanted me {for such a time as this}. There was a peace about the trip, knowing God was orchestrating everything as it should be. As the week went on, I got more comfortable with everyone.  It was a joy to be around them and it was a lot of fun. Our daily devotionals were great. I loved the words of wisdom and hearing the personal stories.

Lots of great stories - getting a GAzillion bars of soap to give away at the clinic, having devotionals with a hen that was nesting beside me in a flower pot, the goat that chased me, when I got electrocuted in the van, and the best one yet - when I rode the mo-ped to the dental clinic. That's right! Yahoo! And let's not forget the party in the bathroom with our team leader jumping up and down while we're all crammed in there brushing our teeth. That makes me happy. I was with a lot of morning people... you know the kind I'm talking about. :-)

One of my favorite memories is the look on the kids faces when we gave them a jump rope. A jump rope. They were ecstatic! I remember giving the kids stickers and twirling tops, they were so happy! I will always remember that. I absolutely LOVED the Dominicans. I loved talking with them and playing with the kids.  Taking blood pressure was my favorite because I got to greet them and talk with them. I loved seeing them smile. I just {LOVED} to see them smile, especially the kids.  I got to do a little bit of everything - blood pressure, pharmacy and dental. I liked the pharmacy because of the fast pace and I felt like I was helpful (for the most part).  I think I just really liked being around more people and working so closely with my teammates.  I really liked the dental clinic only because it was held in a school and I got to hang out with the kids!  Yay! 

I love my new Dominican doctor friends!  I loved playing UNO with them!  I really got attached to Rosemary, Julia and Ajakhah. They were so much fun to hang out with.  I especially miss Rosemary... there was a special bond with her and I would {love} to keep in touch somehow.  I miss Pastor Mario, Hairal, and Washington! The staff at the house was so good to us, they were precious!  I miss their sweetness, I just want to go hug them one more time.  I miss my Dominican friends, can't wait to go back.